Sunday, August 7, 2016

Day one of journal

Our neighbor moved out yesterday. Jan has Alzheimers disease, and two weeks ago had to put her beloved dog to sleep. I don't think she even remembers it, nor how much she adored Beau, who had been keeping her company since her husband died a few years ago. Her adult children came to help her pack a few things and then she was gone. So sad. I am glad she is finally getting the care and constant attention she needs, but I will miss seeing her putting around the garden and outside walking Beau. Sometimes she would see me outside on the porch and come over to chat.

Life goes on. Constant changes, and challenges.

Holly, our beloved rescue dog, has kidney disease. She was diagnosed in April of 2015 with stage 3. Her creatine was 2.0 and her bun was around 40. We suspect it was caused from age (we don't know how old she is) and the chemo she underwent Sept-Dec of 2014 to kill any stray cancer cells. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in August of 2014.

We have done so much for her, but now I fear we are watching her end days. So I have created this journal of her journey to cope with my own feelings of loss, sorrow and anger at losing our friend. And probably to remind myself to not do this again, because we have lost four dogs to cancer. Dolce last June to a tumor near his heart that caused heart failure, and Tiger, Tia and Rainy.

Only Cookie, 13 going on 14, are left and Holly, the rescue who was living in a cow pasture.

One day at a time.

Yesterday was a fairly good day, considering. She was so bloated on Friday night that we didn't do the fluids twice a day. Instead, we did the ulcer med in the morning, and then I dissolved her pills in water and shot them down her throat two hours later. Those are the meds to reduce stomach acid. The meds have to be given two hours after the ulcer medicine or they won't work. Then I gave her lunch. She wouldn't eat the boiled chicken, nor the low salt turkey from the deli, nor the fried turkey, but she wanted watermelon and ham. So I made little appetizers of ham with pumpkin in them, rolled up, and fed those by hand. She ate about a handful of those. No blueberries.

We were worn out and needed a break from the trauma of Thursday, so we went to a movie at 3:30, after he gave her fluids. She is still drinking a lot and I fear it is the ham. But it's all she will eat. So we went to see something stupid - 9 lives with Kevin Spacey, and then to dinner at Champs. Karen wasn't there, so we ate quickly and came home. I wanted to get home to her.

And then we realized we had never given her the ulcer meds. So at 7:30, ulcer meds, and then the other meds at 9:30 and dinner at 10. The appetite stimulant kicks in 30 minutes later. She ate another handful of ham, and more watermelon and managed some blueberries. She also ate watermelon before the stimulant. After talking with his cousin, Bunny, DH realized she may have throat ulcers that are causing her pain and make eating a challenge. Thus the watermelon, which is sweet and soothing.

This morning she got her ulcer meds, and her fluids and now she is sleeping/snoring behind me on the pillow in the computer room. Her snoring has gotten worse, too. I pray she will hang in there for the next four weeks. I don't want her to go more south during DH's birthday in two weeks. We are going away for four days and really need this break for his birthday. WE will board her with the specialty vet, the best place for her while we are gone. I don't know what we will feed her, but one day at a time. All we can do.

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